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Writer's pictureAngie

Four women and a funeral - Why words matter.

Updated: Aug 5, 2020


In the last two weeks, four women in different places and from different worlds highlighted why words matter and sadly there was a funeral just to show how much they really do matter. There were probably lots of funerals around the world of women (and men) who were the victims of domestic violence but today we can only highlight just one.


Chelsey Potter - July 16, 2020


Who is Chelsey Potter? Chelsey Potter is a former liberal staffer who published an open letter of apology to Julia Gillard for her part is not speaking up when she should have.


In her words:

“From the moment you entered office, I mindlessly recited all the party lines about your so called treachery. I vigorously campaigned against you. I let ridiculous media commentary slide, ignored blatant sexism and overlooked some horrific campaign collateral.”

This horrific campaign collateral included one member of Parliament from the opposition Liberal Party put it, to be “deliberately barren.” There were placards crying “Ditch the Witch,” toys designed for dogs that encouraged them to chew on the fleshier parts of her anatomy, and a menu offering “Julia Gillard Kentucky Fried Quail – small breasts, huge thighs and a big red box.


The words were aimed at dehumanising Julia Gillard and to reduce her to being a sexualised being and not the intelligent and progressive leader that she was. The words were violent not in a physical way but in the way they attacked her with the aim of silencing her. The words mattered as they signalled that it was OK to be disrespectful to women and that there was no place for women in power.


What is so clear in Chelsey Potter's apology is why she stayed silent. She admitted that she needed to be seen to be part of the liberal party club and that for her to get ahead she needed to “jostle for the praise of the male powerbrokers”.

While there have been huge progress for women in the workplace, in some cases the male powerbrokers are still a large part of corporate life. Women who have been treated badly are still sometimes not supported by other women who fear speaking out as they are jostling for their own career advancement and making sure that they do not rock the boat. Beyond the hashtags, it takes real courage for women to speak out in support of women in cultures and environments where the risk of retaliation and condemnation is real.

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez - July 21, 2020

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B1sEEhdEhCQ


US congresswomen Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez was walking up the stairs of the Capitol when Representative Yoho called her disgusting, crazy, out of her mind and dangerous. He then called her a “f***ing b****”. He then issued a non-apology in which he gave the excuse of using women, namely his wife and his daughters and even God as a shield and excuse for his appalling behaviour.


On July 23, 2020, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortz gave a powerful speech to Congress which addressed the damage that that language and those words can cause. In it she says:


“In using that language in front of the press, he gave permission to use that language against his wife, his daughters, women in the community and I am here to stand up to say that it is not acceptable.”

She reiterates that such language is about dehumanising women and others. Dehumanising makes us less human, less deserving of being treated equally and fairly, less deserving of the same opportunities and less deserving of having our own voices and our own opinions.

Justice Esther Salas – July 20, 2020


On July 20 2020, a woman called Esther Salas paid a price no-one should ever pay for being a woman of substance. As New Jersey's first Hispanic U.S. District judge, Esther Salas has long been seen as an accomplished and admired Latina legal trailblazer. A man called Roy Den Hollander fatally shot the 20 year old son of Judge Esther Salas and injured her husband. Roy Den Hollander was a New York men’s rights attorney who was a self described anti-feminist.


Men’s studies scholar Michael Kimmel states that anti-feminism opposes:


“women’s entry into the public sphere, the reorganisation of the private sphere, women’s control over their bodies, and women’s rights generally”.

He argues that antifeminists consider the “traditional gender division of labor as natural and inevitable, perhaps also divinely sanctioned”.


Again the rhetoric is dehumanising and for any woman who does not conform to patterns of subservience and who exerts power, the consequences can be deadly. Women who do not stay in their lanes and deviate to be outspoken are to be shut down. To act in this way is seen to act against nature and for those who hold extreme views, even to act against God.

Helen Mirren – July 26, 2020

Helen Mirren celebrated her 75th birthday on 26 July 2020 and a very interesting clip resurfaced from the time she gave a speech to Tulane University in 2017 “Helen’s Top 5 Rules for a Happy Life.”

In tip number two which was “just treat people like people" she gave an interesting and unexpected addendum:

"And an addendum to rule No. 2. No matter what sex you are, or race, be a feminist. In every country and culture that I have visited, from Sweden to Uganda, from Singapore to Mali, it is clear that when women are given respect, and the ability and freedom to pursue their personal dreams and ambitions, life improves for everyone…..
Oh, and addendum to the addendum — never again allow a group of old, rather grumpy, rich white men define the health care of a country that is 50.8% women and 37% other races."

So is women and men supporting feminism and having the courage to be seen to be questioning the status quo, the answer to antifeminism? We can then use words that actually empower women (and importantly also at the same time not disempower men).


Julie Bishop famously announced to the National Press Club in 2014:

“Feminist [is] not a term that I find particularly useful these days" .

Sadly, while that denial allowed her not to get on the wrong side of her liberal male colleagues, it actually didn’t win her any favours when it was time to elect a new prime minister. Helen Mirren at the end of her addendum states that it is in fact essential:

"I didn’t define myself as a feminist until quite recently, but I had always lived like a feminist and believed in the obvious: that women were as capable and as energetic and as inspiring as men. But to join a movement called feminism seemed too didactic, too political. However, I have come to understand that feminism is not an abstract idea but a necessity if we — and really by “we,” I mean you guys — are to move us forward and not backward into ignorance and fearful jealousy. So now, I am a declared feminist and I would encourage you to be the same."

Daniel Anderl – Funeral date to be announced


Words matter and they did matter to Daniel Anderl, Ester Salas’s son who was shot dead by someone who took words that disrespected women and gave him permission to use violence. Words mattered to U.S. District Judge, Ester Salas who paid a price no-one should pay for being her authentic self.


They matter to the one woman per day that is killed by their partner in Australia every day. For the women who are killed, it was not even about being outspoken or being a career woman or not doing housework or even about whether they conformed to an 1950’s image of a domestic goddess, it was about being a separate unique person with their own thoughts, with their own needs and their own choices. Every time words are spoken which diminish women and disrespect them, we give permission to cross the ultimate boundary which is a woman’s life.




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